Jackie's Journey: Are You a Wise Mom?

"Wisdom calls aloud in the street..." Proverbs 1:20

Do you consider yourself to be a wise person? 

We each hold value systems that form our basic philosophies.  These we purpose to pass on to our children through goals we set for them.  Our desire is that they wisely hold our most highly valued principles.  As caring moms, our goal should be nothing less than to produce wise children who are self-motivated to do good and hate evil. 

Where do we begin?...

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom and to fear the Lord is to hate evil.

 I, Wisdom, hate pride, arrogance, evil behavior (rebellion) and perverse speech.”

Proverbs 1:7; Proverbs 8:13

What is a wise child?  How would you recognize one?

Foolish children are easy to spot!

When Wisdom calls…LISTEN!

“Wisdom is seeing life’s situation from God’s point of view and acting in harmony with Him”. (ATIA)  We will recognize wisdom in our child through his or her attitudes, words, and actions!       

Knowing God and knowing our responsibility in life does not guarantee we will be successful in parenting!  If we do not know how or what to do…we are lost.  Most moms have teachable hearts that want to understand God’s instruction. Some even demonstrate a desire to honor God with a wise decision-making process regarding the manner of child development by adhering to God’s Word and voice when He calls!

 Proverbs 29:17 says our “Children are to bring us REST

And to DELIGHT our souls!

 Discipline your son or daughter and he will give you PEACE;

he will bring DELIGHT to your soul”.

 Do your children bring delight to your soul?

Do they bring you peace and give you rest? 

Wisdom is knowing the right path to take.  Integrity is taking it!

We want wise children with integrity!

When our girls were not bringing us “rest” and “delighting our soul” we knew we were failing in our training.  My life was not that much different than yours…lots of activity and responsibility and never enough time!  We were convinced, as you are, that our success as parents would come from making our children successful.

When we take responsibility for our child’s behavior, we are in a position to change it!  This is called Discipleship…the key to training.  The goal of raising a wise child should be to develop godly Character. 

“Godly character is developing right attitudes that produce right actions, habitually”. (RJ)

This involves the need for consistent “attitude training” which educates the spirit of a child, as well as the will. (Ask:  Was it kind? Was it considerate?).  It brings integrity back into focus by replacing the “action-response” teaching  (“Mom said, don’t do that! Don’t touch! Stop it, I said don’t touch…no…no”)!

 “Action-response” teaching has this sequence:

• Warning
• Warning
• Elevated tone of voice
• Threat added for emphasis
• No consequence with total resolve

This sequence cultivates REBELLION!  God hates rebellion…

“For rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft…”!  I Samuel 15: 23 

Developing character in our little “Prince and Princesses” presupposes that WE are wise women of godly character!  “We are known and read by our children all the time…” I Cor. 3:2.  There is no hiding our true character…they read our spirit!

Do you know the test for measuring your own character?? 

 Character is revealed by what we do in secret and

 Maturity is revealed by what we do with our free time (T.V.; computer ;iPhone; iPad; books, magazines, music, FB, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, shopping, etc., etc..)

What do I do in secret?   What do I do with my free time?

Abraham Lincoln said, “There is just one way to train a child in the way he should go and that is to travel that way yourself!”

We are an example, or an excuse!!

Children learn what we are first, through our attitudes; then, what we teach them.  Training is first discipleship and then learning! Our job is to cause that learning in our child by lovingly training them to submit to our authority so they can be taught. 

A child that is not under control of his/her authority is preoccupied with resisting that authority and he/she cannot receive teaching!

The child that resists authority IS the teacher!!

When the course of action you are using has the goal of developing godly character through attitude training, the child will mature with wisdom and balance and will understand purpose in his or her life. 

What course of action are you on?

Heroes

HEROES.

Why do we love heroes so much?

We all love heroes because we are created to admire goodness. We want to emulate those who share our ideals – things like courage, honor and justice.  Heroes who make the hard, but right choices give us hope in the future.  We choose heroes who symbolize the person we would like to be and ambitions we would like to satisfy.  My husband loves William Wallace in Braveheart, Andy in Shawshank Redemption and Edmund in the Count of Monte Cristo.  I love Anne in Anne of Green Gables, Dorcus Lane in the Larkrise to Candleford or Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice.  Each of them speak to my heart.  I can hear their stories again and again.  Tell me who your heroes or heroines are and it can tell me a lot about you.

A couple of weeks ago, we celebrated the end of school with a history feast.  The kids and I reflected on their year studying the end of the Roman Empire to the Revolutionary War.  Part of the year was spent reading 16 historical fiction books.  This form of literature brought history to life for my kids AND gave them heroes to inspire them.  Many of the books were “old-fashioned” with tried-and-true wisdom.  These heroes made right choices, had virtuous character and inspiring actions.  I find this is one of my favorite parts of schooling.

Who are your kids’ heroes?

As we move into summer, my kids continue to read.  I want them to read.  With older children now, I find the library to be a bit challenging.  Somehow vampires and witchcraft have become commonplace among teen literature content.  We have to search and search for good books.  My elementary children find examples of bad attitudes and poor choices among the “favorites” of their peers.  I keep asking, “Where have the true heroes gone?”

The Princess Parables were created for this very reason.  Not only did we want to have inspiring princesses any girl would want to be like, we also wanted to teach God’s word and wisdom.  While the Princess Parables is an outstanding summer reading option, there needs to be more in the book baskets for our kids this summer.

Children just don’t stubble upon excellent reading options, but they are created for them.  I have to have a plan this summer for all of my kids.  Join me as we engage in the pages of literature recommendations from Read for the Heart by Sarah Clarkson and Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt.  Both of these books are wonderful guides to life changing literature for our kids.  Giving our kids heroes to build their character, their adventurous hearts and their imagination.

What does your summer reading list look like?

Will you introduce your kids to their next heroes?

Jackie's Journey: ANGER Is Only One Letter Short of DANGER

Would you consider yourself an angry person? 

1. Does your family (or whomever you live with) ever see you lose your temper?
2. Are you able to readily and quickly admit when you are wrong?
3. Do you complain about how others treat you (when you’re slighted or get your feelings hurt?)
4. Do you grumble when things do not work out the way you planned?
5. Do you demand prompt attention from family members, friends, teachers, employers, etc.? (Do you feel slighted when others get more attention than you do?)

All five questions reveal patterns of anger that are not uncommon to all of us!

The best functional definition I have ever found for anger is:

 “Someone finding a right that I have not yielded to God.”  

 Someone crossing my already decided will!

As a young tribal missionary wife and mother, I felt I had a right to be understood.  Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?  I was living with so many unknowns. Knowing my husband understood how hard I was attempting the impossible was important to me. It seemed like a legitimate right…no?  It was imperative to have someone to talk to in my heart language (English).  Poor Ralph…he was it!  He is not a detail guy and I speak in paragraphs!  My anger would reveal itself in various forms demanding his attention.

“A Right”…

is a legal demand of our will that we impose on each other–

something, someone, or some attitude apart from God’s own will.

It has its own authority with no power

It produces anger or hurt feelings

It assumes God and everybody owes us something

It imprisons the Soul and Spirit (the Soul claims dominion over the Spirit’s control!)

It refuses humility (the key to the Christian life!)

What rights do you claim?  

My anger popped up more often than I cared to admit.  I had a habit of making excuses or blaming others for:

•  My Pride – reserving the right to make the final decision
•  My Insecurity – structuring my life around temporal values
•  My Reputation- projecting the image I wanted others to have of me
• My Expectations

While living in the interior I jotted down a “few” rights in my journal.  Maybe you can identify with some of them:

·      To a normal standard of living

·      To ordinary standards of good health

·      To privacy

·      To hold others to their responsibilities

·      To be angry

·      To make the final decision on a matter

·      To judge others

·      To do it my way

·      To be understood (self-justification)

·      To be envious or jealous

·      To be uninterrupted (FB, Twitter, etc.) added in this last year!

If you identify with one or any of these as a daily occurrence…you have a sin pattern called ANGER!

By making excuses for my anger rather than tracing my “Anger” to a violation of one of my personal rights, I failed to live in victory. 

By calling the “Right” by its name and repenting, I found freedom in a consistent Christian walk…No more excuses.  I exchanged them for gratefulness and found peace!   

What is the hardest right to give up?

The right to make the ultimate decision!

I continue to learn to stop before yielding to unrighteousness and put my will in neutral, acknowledging His control and His will (not mine or my husband’s).  It brings harmony into my life in the midst of unknowns and confusion.  My demanding to be understood is now my signal to yield to His Will by giving my “right” to God. 

In the New Testament in Phil. 2: 6-8, it highlights the things Christ gave up:

1.     His Rights- “did not consider equality with God”

2.     His Reputation – “Made himself nothing, becoming a servant”

3.     His Ego –“Humbled himself”

4.     His Will  - “Obedient unto death”!

Philippians 2: 6-8

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross.”

How can we do less?

An independent, willful and rebellious spirit will keep us from living in victory.  Let’s choose to agree with God, call anger the sin that it is and walk as He walked, honoring the cross and remembering the price He paid for our Victory over sin!  No more excuses…

Rescuing a Princess

The little girl in the picture was born a princess. Just like all of our little girls.

Her story has turned out different than our girls.  She was born into a family in the poorest part of Thailand.  Her parents having so many other children decided to send their 9 year-old daughter into the city to make money and go to school.  In turn, the nice man who is helping them brings them food for their starving family and promises to bring more money once she starts working.  Their daughter leaves with a hope for the future; however, the family never hears from her again.

This is a familiar story in the hill country of Thailand.

There are more human slaves in the world today than ever before in history -more than in Moses’ day in Egypt and more than in the days of the Civil War.

There is a estimated 13 million children, not to mention the 27 million adults, around the world who are held against their will.  80% of them are forced to engage in sexual acts.  The other 20% are forced labor, organ donors and suicide bombers.  The leading countries that are harvest grounds for children are Eastern Europe, China, Nigeria and Thailand.  The countries that partake in the sex trafficking are Belgium, Germany, Greece, Israel, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Thailand, Turkey, and the U.S.  Most children only live 3-7 years once they enter the “system”.  Some are as young as 6 years old.  Either abuse, HIV or malnutrition end their life.  Their lives fund a 30 billion dollar industry.

Why am I writing about this on the Princess Parables website?

First, I believe there is not enough awareness about this widespread, global, human rights catastrophe that is happening around us.  If we can shine a light into the darkness and if more people can become aware, perhaps there is a chance of stopping it.  Also it helps us to be able educate our own children of this underground world of evil.

Second, I wanted to let you all know that as a part of supporting the Princess Parables ministry, we give a portion of our profits to God’s work.  Because the five princesses were His idea in the first place, we view all of the money as His and we ask carefully where He would have us give.  This month we were able to give a substantial amount to the Children’s Hunger Fund and rescue ONE child from slavery in Thailand.

Lastly, I believe we are all saddened by the statistics and want to help.  We are just not sure what to do about it.  I want to introduce you to one of our favorite charities, the Children’s Hunger Fund (CHF).   We know the people involved personally in Thailand who are amazing wonderful God fearing people.  Carol and Mike left their posh Hollywood entertainment jobs when they heard God’s call to sell it all and move to Thailand.  They not only rescue the kids out of slavery, but they introduce them to Jesus.  They have around 100 rescued kids living in their orphanage at Zoe International.  You can visit their website here to learn more about them.  Also at CHF you can donate $1,500 and they will go with Zoe and rescue a child off the streets of Thailand.  Only $1,500 to rescue a child!!!  To save a life!  I just knew you would want to know about that.  I can see all of us getting our kids and their friends together this summer to rescue kids off of the street and introduce them to Jesus.  I just get goose bumps thinking about it!  Bake sales, car washes, recycling to raise $1,500 and save a child from the horror of sex trafficking.

How will you live out the verse Ps. 82:3 Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed?

What can you and your family do to bring a child out of slavery?

Keeping a Clear Conscience

“I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man”  Acts 24:16

A few weekends ago, my husband and I were serving in the elder prayer room at our church.  A young lady came in looking very upset and unsure and asking for prayer.  On her request form, she was asking to pray about a miscarriage.  All of the elders were busy and I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit to talk to her.  I, too, had a miscarriage many years before and knew what she was experiencing.

Happy to talk to a woman, this young girl (let’s call her Sarah) began to tell me her heart-wrenching story of loss.  She agonized over the death of her child she would never meet here on this earth.  She had been far enough along to feel the want.  After a few tears, she admitted to her real reason for being there.  It wasn’t the miscarriage, even though it did cause pain.  The event had brought on something else. She was not being tormented by the loss of her baby, but by the loss of a clear conscience.

Sarah explained losing her baby had made her think back to a time she was trying to forget.  She was thinking she lost the baby because of something she had done in her past. She had cheated on her dissertation and doctorate program. She had forged research results years ago. As Sarah unfolded her story, I assured her God was not punishing her, but in times of trial, we can tend to hear God’s voice more clearly.

God gives opportunities in life to share our life lessons. No trial happens to keep the lessons to ourselves. 

Each experience is to be shared.

When I first became a Christ follower, God asked me to confess and ask for forgiveness to those he brought to my mind.  At first, it was just a couple of names – friends, family, ex-boyfriend’s moms, teachers, etc.  At the end, the list of offended was 87 people!  So I knew the guilt she was carrying.  I had also cheated in college and God had asked me to go to the dean of my university and give back my diploma.

I also knew the freedom that comes from a clear conscience.  With that joy, I was able to share my story with her.  I wanted her to experience the burden-lifting experience of asking for forgiveness.

Sarah could hardly believe that not only had I faced a miscarriage, but I also confronted my conscience.  “What are the chances?” she said. “Of all the people who could have been here . . “  Only God does that!

After we prayed, Sarah went home to discuss all of it with her husband.  She called me weeks later to tell me she made a meeting with the dean.  She had decided to give back her doctorate diploma.  She called to get encouragement from me, to know this was the right thing.  She knew God had forgiven her. She had tried to forget about it and “sweep it under the rug”.  Many friends and family had encouraged her to “let it go”.  However, she knew in her heart that was not the right thing.

All I could do was exhort her to do what she was already being called to do.  We went through the pros and cons of living with the guilt and shame.  She was scared, but she wanted freedom.  She kept her appointment with the dean that very day. 

God speaks.

God brings darkness into the light.

God makes all things new.

She told him, “God has convicted me that I cheated and gave a false testimony.  I know this is wrong and I want to give back my diploma. Will you please forgive me?” I am smiling as I type this because I love to see someone do the right thing.  The hard thing.  Only then do we see the rewards – the burden lifted – the graciousness of Jesus.  The dean was gracious with her. 

Is there someone in your life you need to ask forgiveness to?  Don’t sweep it under the rug.  Don’t let it nag at you.  You can do it!  Go on! The heavenly angels are rooting you on! 

Do the hard thing! 

How have you kept your conscience clear before God and man?

Jackie's Journey: The Destroyer Defeated

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.”

II Cor. 10:3

Is Someone Attempting to Destroy your Life?

The answer is YES… Every moment of every day!  We are at war.  Elisabeth Elliot wrote “How can God remold my mind from within unless I continually test what I read and hear from the world by the ‘straight edge of Scripture?’”  Moms, we are inundated with time consuming activities of every kind that are compounded by social media: Facebooking, tweeting, texting, Instagraming, blogging, etc. 

Where is the voice that speaks transforming truth?

The Psalmist wrote that “Forever, O Lord, Thy Word is settled in heaven”.  Ps. 119:89 “The Word of God is living, powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword”! Hebrews 4:12

How many days did you get in the Word this week?

The Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah, wrote in Chapter 6,  “This is what the Lord Almighty says…to whom can I speak and give warning?  Who will listen to me?  Their ears are closed so they cannot hear.  The Word of the Lord is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it…”

When you read His words what do you hear?  What do you want to get out of it? (His power? His life in you? A change in your bad habits?  A good story time?  A verse to meet someone else’s need?  A class assignment?)  What?

Listening to His voice and allowing His words to “dwell richly” in us brings blessing. Neglecting His Word brings destruction.  The Bible is the heart and mind of God…it transforms by renewing my mind. (Rom.12:2)  It is the roadmap to life!  I have this imperative need to ask God to “open my eyes so that I can see” the road, since His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways.” Isa.55: 8   

I explore His Word by purposing to read for a “BUMP”…a verse that jumps off the page at me!  It might be for someone else, but it is mine first!  It is the transforming voice of God speaking to me; perhaps in an area where I am blind to what is hindering the goal of His transforming life in me.   

What is your goal? Do you have Steps of Action to accomplish that goal?

There are 5 questions I ask myself as I begin to apply the verse to my life:

1. Is there sin for me to AVOID?
2. Is there a PROMISE for me to trust?
3. Is there an EXAMPLE for me to follow?
4. Is there a COMMAND for me to obey?
5. How can this passage increase my knowledge of the Lord God (not just about Him)

WARNING!!

 “Many false prophets (with false philosophies) will appear and deceive many.”

Matthew 24:11 

Beware of these 5 strong voices or fortresses in our 2015 culture:

1. Evolution:  How creation came into existence and developed
2. Egalitarianism:  Defining the role of man and woman
3. Economics:  Happiness = Having
4. Experience: Instant Gratification = I want, what I want…NOW!
5. Ego:  It’s All about Me!

These voices are universal and give us a checklist to reveal our true convictions and the confirmation or absence of His Word in our lives. They define strongholds that have been yielded to the destroyer. 

John 10: 10 “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal (our joy, youth, peace, seeds of truth, etc.) and kill (relationships) and destroy (us!); I (Christ) have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly”.

Revival is the power of the Holy Spirit transforming God’s Word into our soul!

Let’s pick up the Word of God this week and devastate the devil’s attempts to destroy us!!

Bowing the Knee

“Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry”  1 Corinthians 10:14

A couple weeks ago, I got the opportunity to speak into the lives of some amazing women.  The topic was a hard one – but well received.

“What is your idol?”

Of course, we are not talking about American Idol or even a little gold calf.  We are talking about the things in our lives that take the place of the one true God.  Anything that absorbs your thoughts, your mind and your heart may be an idol.  Anything that you give your time, money and resources to, may be an idol.

While not all idols, in and of themselves, are evil, many are.  The Holy Spirit as our guide shows us evil and wants us to turn away. 

Even well meaning things can become idols.  Think of a golden calf.  There is nothing wrong with a golden calf – in fact, in some parts of the world, it might be considered art.  It is when that object is bowed down to and worshipped that it becomes evil.

So with all of these wonderful women, I asked them to pick an idol and find a table to meet other people in the room who struggle with the same god in their life. 

These women were asked to take away their masks and be vulnerable.

How would you answer the question: “What is the one thing in your life that you can’t imagine living without?”

 “What, if lost or removed from your life, would cause you great pain, despair and depression that in turn would remove your passion, drive and sense of self-worth?”

Many idols come to mind . . .

Significance

For some of us, it might be our job outside the home – it gives us extra income, a sense of significance or security.  We like what we do and what we are an expert in.  Some of us enjoy being known for something.  I remember being an event planner and I could not imagine my life without that label.  I admit that it was hard to leave.  Now I am never introduced as the big event planner.  Instead it is now author, which I am able to give God all the glory because that was all His idea.  But the Evil One always wants me to find my significance there, so I feel the struggle.

Materialism/Security

Money. . . we can’t live without it, but it can take the place of our Lord and Savior!  It gives a sense of security. Our husband might be the breadwinner, but we are wrapped up in it – the big houses, the professionally decorated rooms, the expensive clothes, etc.  Would you be lost without it?  Has materialism become your idol?

Food/Alcohol/Drugs

Some of you, like me, have a substance as an idol.  It might be drugs, alcohol or food.  For me it is food, as I am writing this today, I am eating chocolate covered almonds because they help me think (ha, ha) and when I am finished I will have eaten the bag. I have yo-yoed my whole life with food.  I binge and purge.  Even though I eat very healthy (most of you would say), I still wake up in the morning thinking of what I get to eat today . . . when and how often. Food is an idol because it takes over my thoughts.  I can’t imagine living without all this glorious food!  And I have had to because of cancer, so then I just made “health” my idol - now we are back to food.

Relationships

Perhaps it is a relationship, such as a husband, child or emotional attachment to someone else.  Can you imagine living without your spouse or your children?  Would you be in such a state that you could not continue living?  Would you not be able to have a passion for what God is doing in this world and how you can continue it?  Have you wound yourself so tightly around those relationships that you could not see beyond them?  Have they taken God’s place in your life?  Do you put more effort into those relationships than you do your relationship with God?

Health and Beauty

Maybe you are caught up in physical beauty or athletic ability.  Does how you look define you?  It could disguise itself in “healthy living” or “working out”.  I definitely can get caught up in this as I did when I had cancer . . .  even now.  The question to ask is if you were to become injured, disabled or disfigured, would you consider your life over?  If you had cancer, how would you feel?  Do you spend more time on how you look, feel or exercise, than you do seeking a relationship with the Lord? 

Media

For many of you, media is big struggle. Media can be Facebook, movies, books, music or television.  I know for many of you social media is king. When you are stressed, is your first reaction to get on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram?  Do we want to scroll and forget, to distract ourselves from whatever is worrying us? Do we try to find relief in our feeds and lose ourselves in the lives of other people for a moment?  I can take my mind off of my own problems there. More often than not, we turn to media for relief rather than turning to God. All media is so instant, so accessible, that it’s easier to turn to rather than talk to a God who’s online profile doesn’t exist. Sometimes it’s hard for us to even put down our phone long enough to read our Bible for a half hour or to spend a minute or two of undistracted time with our kids or husbands. I am hardwired for instant gratification and the instant, easily-heard audience social media offers me. TV, movies, books, music, games, etc. offer us an escape.  Do you turn on “media” when you should be turning to God? Does your media life equal out to the time spent with God and doing God’s work that He has called us to do??? 

There are many other idols I have not described here.  Is there a hobby or habit that has taken over your thoughts and time?  Is there a passion that is not from God that consumes you?  Is your reputation more important to you than God’s reputation?  It could even be your church or your political affiliation.  The ultimate question is:  Who is King in your life?  Look at your schedule, your checkbook and your thought life to see who or what consumes you.

I found this self-reflection to be very difficult, but also very freeing.  Once I sat with other women at the table and heard other confessions, I was able to open up and realize that I am not alone.  Accountability found its way into the conversations.  These beautiful women were the body of Christ coming together to overcome the Baals of today.

What are your “idols”?

Do you have community in your life to share with?  

Capturing the Once-in-a-Lifetime Moments

Last year, my firstborn son, Christian, turned thirteen.  I had been preparing for this day in my mind for a long time.  You see, I am one of those idealist types.  I am more so in my mind than in my actions sometimes.  But I knew that I wanted to really celebrate this milestone in my son’s life.  I felt God’s small and quiet voice encouraging me on . . .

So I researched.  I got many books such as Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis and Celebrating of Faith by Randy and Lisa Wilson.  I read internet articles and talked to people who had done it.  I roped a kindred spirit whose son had grown up with mine and who shares a close birthday to celebrate the day together.  We got together to plan out the whole day. Ideas began to take shape.

I didn’t realize that we were planning something the Evil One so opposed.

I didn’t realize that my son’s faith was on the line.

I didn’t realize that it was such a battle to be won.

We let my son know that his upcoming birthday was going to be BIG.  There would be much required of him and that he should get ready.  One of the things we did was read Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schultz together.  We asked him to memorize some Bible verses we thought would be beneficial as he took on manhood.  He took this very seriously and was very nervous about the “big day”.

We also informed all our kids that we don’t believe in “teenagers”.  The word teenager has only been used for the last 80 years and with it comes a negative connotation.  Teenagers have a time where they can “wait” to “become”.  For centuries, boys have gone from child to adult. There was no focus on “wasted years”, but a focus on becoming an adult.  We challenged the kids to think of themselves as young adults and not your typical “teen”.  We also said that we would give a dollar to each child catching us saying the word “teenager” because old habits die hard for us parents!

As the day approached, I began to feel the struggle of my ideals and reality.  My husband was not able to help prepare due to illness.  My friend and her son decided not to participate due to unexpected family commitments. My mind was full of thoughts like “You don’t need to do this special day for Christian”, “Nobody else is doing this for their boys on their 13th birthday” and “This is just too much work.  Just give it up!”  I really struggled in my mind.  Asking the Lord, “Is this what you want or am I just doing this on my own accord?”

On the day I was going to give up, I ran into a family pastor friend from the Christian Camp we go to called Forest Home.  He just happened to be at the coffee shop we go to every Tuesday!  We got talking and I felt a nudge to ask him what he thought.  He has 6 grown boys!  He told me what he and his wife did every birthday for their sons starting at 13 and he encouraged me in the path that we had started down.  Sometimes you just need someone to be a cheerleader on the sidelines!

We prepared.  We prayed.  We saw God at work.

On the big day, we created The Warrior’s Quest (an Amazing Race type scavenger hunt) for Christian.  He was given a clue and had to perform a task in order to get the next clue.   Each clue coincided with a Warrior Trait we were incorporating into his Quest.  My husband miraculously felt better and was able to be the point person and driver for the whole day.  So here is what he did:

Task One:  A Warrior's Chivalrous Protection.  The clue was given on being a man who protects and provides for his wife/ family.  We talk so often about what kind of brother he is will determine the type of husband he will become. The task was to write letters of affirmation to each sibling.  He made French toast, berries and juice and served it to each in bed with his letter.

Task Two:  The Warrior's High Character.  The clue was given on being a man who is full of character.  We studied many of these character qualities this year.  Today, we highlighted honesty, integrity and compassion.  The task was to buy food for a homeless person on his own and then find someone to give it to (i.e. Compassion).  This was Christian and Bruce’s favorite part of the Warrior Quest as the man who received the bag was so grateful.  While shopping for the groceries, we arranged with the cashier to give him too much money as change.  Christian had to pass the test what he would do with the extra money. The grocery store manager gave him the next clue when he returned the money (i.e. Integrity and Honesty).

Task Three:  The Warrior's Leadership and Responsibilities.  The clue focused on teaching, mentoring, making others successful while leading, encouraging and taking on the areas that God has given him.  So many of these ideas were talked about over the year with his book study.  The task was to help coach his brother's T-ball team that morning while showing the younger boys his encouraging spirit.

Task Four:  A Warrior's Spiritual Impact and Prayer Life.  This clue spoke to who he will be as a man of God - how he pray, spend time in relationship with God and how he will serve in his life.  His task was to recite 6 verses he memorized and spend a great deal of time discussing this with his dad as they drove to Los Angeles.  

Task Five:  The Warrior's Commitment and Endurance.  This area focused on looking at life with Godly wisdom and following God's calling as a man and trusting God.  A warrior never gives up, has self-control and persistence.  He always tries something once and faces his fears.  The task was indoor skydiving in Hollywood

Task Six:  A Warrior’s Community and Accountability.  We know that a warrior doesn’t face life alone. They headed back that night for a big party where we went bowling, had pizza and enjoyed a small presentation with family and friends.  We had King David’s sword engraved for him saying “Be strong and courageous” Deut. 31:6. We also asked family and friends far and wide to write advice and affirmations that we put together in a large notebook for him.  And we also presented him with a picture book of his first 12 years.  

After it was all said and done, I got a moment with Christian.  He couldn’t wait to tell me . . . “You know mom, this was the best day ever! I don’t know if you notice how I have changed (well, yes, I had!).  Over the last couple months while you were building this day up, I was asking the Lord at night, if I was the kind of man He wanted me to be.  You know what he said? . . . No!  I was going down the wrong path.  He said I needed to work on my attitude and focus on being the kind of man He wants me to be.  So I have changed.  And he gave me a dream and told me that He has great plans for me . . . Thanks Mom for this day!  I will never forget it!”

It is just another day in the life of your child.

But an opportunity to make just another day into a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

For all of you out there, being tossed around with thoughts of giving up an ideal, DON’T!  Fight on!  Do it!  Your kids will BE the difference!

How have you celebrated the BIG moments in your kids’ lives?

Jackie's Journey: Terror to Trust

“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.” Psa. 142:11

My introduction to our new life in the village Pucuro was a “shocker”.   My youngest daughter’s  disappearance from my arms in those first moments after arriving on the riverbank caused my entire being to experience sheer terror! 

 Skipping that one day would have been the loss of a life-lesson that changed my life!

Missionary Boot Camp training had been deliberate in preparing me for this crisis.  My mind was reminded of the reason why we had come and the promise I had claimed two years prior to the moment I was living now!  “…Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm.”  The verse worked so well when we lived in the States!  Proverbs 1:33 was written by the “wisest” man that ever lived and it had always given me courage to keep on.

 Have you ever claimed a promise from God and then panicked when put to the test?

Two men from our mission had contacted these unreached tribal people two years before.  The Kunas had asked for someone to come and bring them the medicine and help they needed to keep their babies from dying at birth.  Some of the mothers were weakened by tuberculosis.  There were multiple infections and parasites of every kind…would someone answer that call?

Well…we answered…and they had taken my baby!

My heart sank as I scanned the agitated crowd in the dimness of the dark night.  Certainly no electricity here!  Pitch black, drenched bodies, dark faces, barking dogs, slushy mud path and no baby.  My heart pounding and unaware of my personal discomfort or how I must sound, I stood dripping wet in a downpour, screeching in a foreign tongue…calling into the wind for my lost child.

Completely overwhelmed by my loss I saw someone slip out of the darkness and run in my direction.  Stretching over people she placed my tiny girl back into my waiting arms.  I now had both babies against my breast and I breathed a sigh of incomprehensible relief, whispering a prayer of gratefulness to my God who keeps His promises! 

“He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those who walk blameless for He guards the course of the just and He protects the way of His faithful ones.” Proverbs 2:7,8

Paul Little, in How to Give Away Your Faith, wrote “The statement that God is in control is either true or it’s not true.  But if it is true and we accept God’s revelation of Himself, our faith enables us to enjoy and rest in the certainty of His providence (will).”

 I stood up, turned to face my new reality and walked through the door of my brand-new jungle life!

It was a good thing it was too dark to know who had inadvertently brought such distress to my spirit that night. But bless her, because she had been used to quickly bring me to the throne of Grace for a thorough evaluation of my personal commitment to His “calling”! 

Gratefully, as a young mother, I was given the opportunity very early to place my heritage in the hands of an all-knowing God.  He had again asked me to “count the cost”.  I stopped wanting to “skip” life-lessons and began embracing them. I claimed those powerful promises in the Word that had always been applied to others and now…were all mine!

These are my grandchildren… my heritage…all seven of them!

Jackie's Journey: KIDNAPPED! Really?

Baby Kim and her sister, Christina.

Hang on to your hats…this was one day in my life I could have skipped! 

Ever had those days???

Dusk was cascading over the torrential waters, enveloping our dugout into the dark silence of the unknown jungle.  Along the mangrove-lined shoreline we could hear twigs breaking and see shadows of what appeared to be dark, naked bodies racing us to the remote landing in the deep stillness.

For eight hours we had traveled upriver unceasingly, pressing on against the rapid flow of the Tuira River through lighting bolts, thunder and rain.  The river had risen 8 feet as we fought the current in our long journey up the contiguously inaccessible jungle waters.  Our goal to reach this isolated Indian village on the Colombian border in Panama was now within our reach!

Underneath the makeshift tarp that protected us from the worst of the violent storm were two little girls.  One, almost three, was exceedingly excited and could not wait to get out of the wet boat and the other, just a few months old, was securely wrapped in my arms.  Our piragua was piled high with everything we would need for the next six months!

Jungle River

The boat brusquely hit the bank and as I stood, dripping wet, to face all the unknowns that had brought us to this sandy beach, the warm little bundle in my arms was abruptly yanked from me and disappeared into the darkness of the night!!  I quickly grabbed my once excited and happy three year old by the hand.  She was now very confused.  Her contentment was exchanged for eyes full of fear!  I pulled her close to me and began calling for my baby…

In that instant, the crowd pushed and shoved us up a short trail that led to our mud-floored, bark-walled house.  My insistent calls for my lost child were ignored and unanswered. 

As I stepped over the threshold of our unfinished new home, the rats (at least I prayed they were rats!) scurried among the barrels that had been sent a month ahead of us and now stored our rice and dried beans in the very open tin-roofed room.  The sound of rain on that roof was deafening!

My worst fear had come upon me…Job 3:25,26.  I screamed again into the crowd for my tiny daughter and again received no response.  I lifted my three year old into my arms and determinedly turned to walk back through the crowd down to the river’s edge!

Where had my baby gone?   Who had taken her?!

Immediately, my panic turned to terror…

The familiar promise in Proverbs 1:33 eluded me.  “…whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

What was happening?  Why had God allowed this? 

There are three Biblical Principles regarding trials:

1.  Trials are common to all of us.  No one escapes unscathed. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to men.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  No excuses and no victims here! The real question is not why, but “Why not, Jackie, don’t you trust me?!  I will never leave you or forsake you…listen to ME, not your circumstances!.”
2. Trials are given with divine purpose and will pass.  1Peter 1:6 “In this you may greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.”
3.  Trials are life-lessons NOT to be wasted!  James 1:4 “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

C.S. Lewis wrote in The Great Divorce “There are two kinds of people:  Those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your own way.’”

I was standing at the point of decision! My options were limited…

What is your attitude toward the trials in life?  Which kind of person are you?

Join me next Monday for my decision…think about yours.