Jackie's Journey "I Am Not a Fan!"

In the story of “Princess Grace and the Little Lost Kitten”, we see her faith tested in ways that resonate deeply with us as mothers.  Opening “my box “ to share from my own journey of faith, reminded me of the life-lesson from Grace’s story.

 As a former tribal missionary, I faced many challenging seasons in my life.  As a mother of two young princesses, balancing “off the grid” survival skills, home-schooling, linguistics, language learning (Kuna), evangelism, running the small medical clinic, delivering babies, washing clothes in the river and cooking food I had never seen before, etc….I found myself overwhelmed!  

Oh, and then…there is the matter of the creeping, crawling reptiles…

 I have never been a fan of reptiles…

 Panama is the home to some of the most frightening snakes on the planet.  Our corner of the dense Darien jungle was full of boa constrictors, pit vipers, fer-de-lance (this snake bears 60 live babies at a time!), etc.  We were cautious not to poke under rocks or fallen branches, always scanning for any slithering menaces.  Behind our house there was a massive tree that extended its immense roots out into the river shoreline where the girls and I bathed and swam.  The thick mangrove swamp harbored snakes that would lie in the hollow places of the trunk of that tree. 

 More than once I cried out Psalm 16:1

 “Keep me safe, Oh Lord, for in you I take refuge.”

 Fear is no stranger to me.  I am habitually challenged to walk through the door of fear.   I was told during missionary training that courage was not the absence of fear, but the conquest of it.

 “The highway of fear is the shortest route to defeat”.  William L. Brownell

 My husband had built a screened-in back porch to the house.  It became home for our gasoline-run wringer washing machine.  The Indians thought the machine was the most ridiculous apparatus they had ever seen!  It was noisy, the water had to be carried from the river (or in rainy season, we could utilize the convenience of the roof rain barrels).   The agitator was a mystery (why would you jerk clothes around in dirty cold water when the river is running and clear!) however; the wringer was another story…it worked really well.  Hand wrung clothes could not match that wringer!  I had to agree with them on all counts! 

While I washed, Kim would play on a blanket or crawl around the porch.  The floor was slightly elevated, lined with wooden planks roughly cut and loosely fit together.  It was not quite finished and as I leaned over the machine, I saw Kim crawling toward something moving under the floorboard.   I turned off the deafening machine, snatched Kim up into my arms and “yelled” for Ralph!  Writhing back and forth, only a few inches away, was a 5’ venomous snake! He had quite possibly been a houseguest for “who knows how long” before we noticed him! Let me repeat…

I am not a fan and I intensely dislike reptiles!

 Arturo, our nearest neighbor had heard me scream and came running, He quickly surveyed our predicament, raised his machete and removed the head of that reptile with one swift blow.  He held it up like a prized Marlin…its length was above his head and its tail draped to the muddy ground!

 This story could have had a much different ending, were it not for our Sovereign God, His plan and the life-lessons He was busy teaching me!  School is always in session if we have eyes to see it. The need to grow and mature will never end on this side of eternity. Fear has been my friend and biggest challenge.  I am to fear the consequence of sin, not snakes.  Easy concept until put to the test!

 “Be strong and of a good courage, Fear not, nor be afraid of them (in this case…snakes);

for the Lord your God, He it is that does go with me, He will not fail me nor forsake me.” 

Deuteronomy 31: 16

 “I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalm 34:4 

 What do you do with your fear?

 This week take note of areas in your life where  you feel overwhelmed.

Like Princess Grace, walk through your fear and rest in God’s sovereignty.

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey "Inexplicable Agony!"

Ralph and Christina teaching one evening in our rustic jungle living room…

 The word that Americans were living on the Pucuro River among an isolated tribe located near the headwaters was big news to the people in a tiny Choco settlement about a day’s journey downriver by dugout. Ralph and Jay Gunsteens were eager to take some of our new believing Kuna’s on their first missionary trip down river into this community.

 I remember the day they took off in the piragua and wondered how these remote people would receive the message God was bringing to them.  It was rainy season and the mud was deep as they arrived on  the riverbank.   This secluded  group of Indians had a few horses and cows and the ground was thoroughly contaminated.  Ralph, who had his combat boots for just such an occasion, was wearing his flip-flops and sinking deep into the wet ground.

The Choco village a day downriver

Darkness was closing in and the boys were invited to eat and spend the night.  The next day they were given an opportunity to open the Word and share God’s love, plan and provision.  Ralph and Jay were well received and some of the townspeople even returned a visit to Pucuro in the weeks that followed.

 About two weeks after returning to our village, Ralph began to suffer with excruciating abdominal pain.  We committed him to our healing God.  The limited medical resources available to us interior had been exhausted.  Since we were soon due to renew our visas, we decided to take the three-day journey early and leave for Panama City to see if the doctors in the Canal Zone could help us.

 The  medical doctors realized Ralph had picked up something rare and unusual and unable to find the source after a battery of tests, they sent us to Gorgas Laboratory,  the Center for Disease Control for the military in Central America. Ralph was becoming increasingly restless and powerless to cope with the intense pain.  He would walk the floor, day and night and had not slept for days.  His only few moments of relief came when he would drink a bottle of Coca-Cola!

 I knew I had been called to this ministry and I knew God was allowing this exercise for our good, it had divine purpose and would benefit others; yet, this was touching one of God’s most faithful servants and I was stymied!

 Have you ever wondered why it is so much more difficult

to watch the pain of someone else ??

 The Lab was our last hope.  We made an immediate appointment and to our surprise…they could take us in early the next morning!  After all, Ralph’s case was intriguing…it came out of the remote jungle! The Lord had opened up a home on the military base for us to use the few days we planned to be in the city and we were grateful for His provision.

 That night, Ralph stopped pacing and laid down sometime after midnight.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  About two hours later, we were jolted by someone breaking the glass on the back door!  Literally… breaking into the house!  The  frantic and hostile man was reaching through the shattered glass and unlocking the latch!

 Ralph was instantly on his feet yelling at the intruder!  As he left our bedroom, he turned and said, “Safety is in the Lord, Jackie!”  As he slammed the door shut, he told me to call the military police and stay with the girls. Panicked and processing, I did as I was told and listened to the scuffle in the hall!  There were loud voices and then silence!  My heart stopped!!

 In a few seconds, Ralph had subdued the man and tapped on our door to tell us we were going to be alright.  The intruder was a cocaine addict and knew someone that lived in this borrowed house.  He needed money and was desperate to get in!

 Have you ever had an intruder violently

invade your place of safety?

 This is Part One of this saga…

And Ralph’s prognosis?  You won’t believe it…

See you next week to find out…

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights.