Jackie's Journey "Darien Endurance!"

Life has a way of introducing us to the realities and expectations we have of ourselves and those that others put on us.  As parents, we tend to translate these into the lives of our children, if we are not open to instruction and correction.  When we are thrown into the floodgates of pursuits, we learn to bend, not break. We, with intentionality,  pursue excellence and put everything we have into every venture.

 One day in the Darien, the “spaghetti hit the fan” and I found myself sensing failure at everything…overwhelmed with pending defeat!  Sitting at my jungle desk with homeschool material, a linguistic box, two little princesses calling “mom” (because they needed lunch), my wash in a big basket on the front porch with the river calling, a house-full of Kuna mothers with their babies sitting in every available space in our living room (including the floor) and my heart being pulled in every direction…I finally gave in, after months of coping and burst into tears!

 I was a failure! It was hot and muggy and my head was throbbing! I was overwhelmed with it all and in that moment, in walks our partners, Jay and Sue.  Compassionately, they asked, “Why are you crying?”  My honest reply, “I am a failure as a wife, missionary, mother, language learner…why I don’t even know how to cook most of what is handed to me!  No running water, no electricity, no washing machine for three dozen diapers…” Expecting an understanding word, I was shocked to hear Jay say, “Jackie, you are a failure!”  No empathy there!

 I learned about endurance that day and how failure was my best friend because it was my reminder that I couldn’t, but He could.  Rom. 5: 3-5  He is never tired or weary and just waiting for me to surrender it all to him so He could begin to build His strength of character in me.

 Endurance is continuing to do what is right, trusting God has got the plan and  even though the difficult times overwhelm, they ultimately lead to unexpected opportunities that I would have missed if I had quit.  It is the inward strength to withstand stress and continue to trust God for whatever life might bring my way.

 Easter was this past Sunday and I am reminded again of the example He set for us in enduring the cross for me.  He is not a “quitter” and faced the horrific trek through courts, mocking, chiding, beatings, being spit upon, floggings, hanging hours on a cruel cross with ripping tendons…to complete the will of His Father …and He endured until the end…victorious!

 There is no excuse for us…HE set the bar…

Whatever our circumstance, we stick to the task with thanksgiving,

 knowing He will do it (if we get out of His way!) and

it has eternal benefit and divine purpose.

It’s a total win…win!

 “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  Hebrews 12: 2-3

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey "Misery Is Optional!"

“When God wants to bring more power

into your life,

HE brings more pressure!”. A.B. Simpson

 Things had calmed down after the drug addict’s break-in, and I stood in the middle of the room…oh, sooo grateful.  Pressure,  by my husband’s definition, is a continuing opportunity for others to observe our true character, “for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory”.

 Needless to say, we did not go back to bed and as dawn shed its morning light, I was busily packing and “oh, so ready” to keep that Gorgas Lab appointment and head back to our home in the jungles of the Darien.

 Who would have thought that an ordinary family would sense more safety in a jungle house with no lock, a bark frame and surrounded by indigenous people and wild jungle animals…than in a thriving metropolis with all the locks and amenities known to man??

 I learned a lesson that night.  This experience drove home the truth that the promise, “Safety is in the Lord” is an absolute reality given to those who walk with Him, because the promise that “the beloved of the Lord will dwell in safety by Him;  the Lord will cover him all day (and night) long”. II Cor. 4:17   The world is too small a place to afford safety to a man that disobeys God!

 Our appointment at the Center for Disease Control was early and to get into the Lab we were required to walk past a zoo-like structure that caged a number of odiferous monkeys. They were loud and aggressive  and grabbed Ralph’s sunglasses as we made our way down the foyer.

 We were greeted by two of the staff that led us down a long corridor  into a small room with  odd jars of unspeakable contents lining the counters.  After a series of tests and reviewing the hospital report, these research doctors, who had been so kind to us, both had victory smiles of success on their faces!

 “As incredible as this may seem, Ralph”, they started their explanation, “somehow, you have broken into a cycle only seen in animals, specifically horses.  You have Strongyloidiasis, a parasite that burrows into the intestinal wall…and eats it! The reason the Coca-Cola gave you relief is because the parasite would not burrow  its head in those moments because… it feeds on sugar!  So, you were able to sense a temporary relief.  This particular parasite is literally… eating your intestinal wall!”

 Looking for a source of entry, one doctor asked to see Ralph’s feet.  Ralph’s heels were deeply cracked and the parasite had entered into his system directly from the contaminated soil in the Choco settlement he had recently visited.  As interested as Ralph was in the entire explanation, all he REALLY wanted to know was…HOW DO I KILL THE CREATURES!

 THE GOOD NEWS…there was a treatment…BUT…it was for horses! 

THE BAD NEWS…the  doctors were not confident that is would work on a human…or, because of its toxicity…kill him!  They carefully instructed that under NO circumstances was he to take more than one teaspoon a day.

 We stayed another week in Panama City for them to run a last test to see if the medicine had worked.  After three days of one teaspoon and still no sleep or relief, Ralph looked at me and our little girls and said, “It’s me or the bugs!”  He, instantly, took the bottle, turned it upside down, emptying its entirety into his mouth!  My heart sunk!!

 Who does that??

 He seemed fine for the first hour or so, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then abruptly, he became  agitated and turned into the HULK!  He grabbed my arm and yelled something unintelligible.  His wild eyes looked like the man that had broken into the house a few days earlier!

 What had he done?!

This strong, gentle man had become forceful and alarming.

 Fortunately, we were still in the city, but it was too late to alert the doctors.  When morning broke, we headed to the Lab.   Had Ralph done something irreparable?  He, however was excited to let the doctors know that the massive dosage of the poisonous drug had made him a crazy man…but it did not KILL HIM! 

 THE REAL QUESTION:  DID IT KiLL THE PARASITES??

 “Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has  not decreed it?  Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?  Why should any man complain…” Lam. 3: 37-39

 The doctors were horrified and shocked that he had taken the whole bottle,  but were grateful that he had survived!  They were anxious to run tests, so we waited patiently for the results.  IF the parasites lived through the toxic exposure, there was no other treatment known to help us.

 They quietly re-entered the room…gleaming!  Ralph had lived…the bugs had died!  During those days of excruciating pain, never once did Ralph complain.  He was not suffering…just ask him!  Remember, “Suffering is an option!”  He gave thanks continually and even at his worst, submitted to the  will of God.

 “The fear of the Lord leads to life,

and whoever has it rests satisfied;

he will not be visited by harm.” Psa. 19: 23

 Pressure is the great tester of our spiritual condition…”The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.” (Wm. Booth)

 How do you respond to pressure?

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights.