Life has a way of introducing us to the realities and expectations we have of ourselves and those that others put on us. As parents, we tend to translate these into the lives of our children, if we are not open to instruction and correction. When we are thrown into the floodgates of pursuits, we learn to bend, not break. We, with intentionality, pursue excellence and put everything we have into every venture.
One day in the Darien, the “spaghetti hit the fan” and I found myself sensing failure at everything…overwhelmed with pending defeat! Sitting at my jungle desk with homeschool material, a linguistic box, two little princesses calling “mom” (because they needed lunch), my wash in a big basket on the front porch with the river calling, a house-full of Kuna mothers with their babies sitting in every available space in our living room (including the floor) and my heart being pulled in every direction…I finally gave in, after months of coping and burst into tears!
I was a failure! It was hot and muggy and my head was throbbing! I was overwhelmed with it all and in that moment, in walks our partners, Jay and Sue. Compassionately, they asked, “Why are you crying?” My honest reply, “I am a failure as a wife, missionary, mother, language learner…why I don’t even know how to cook most of what is handed to me! No running water, no electricity, no washing machine for three dozen diapers…” Expecting an understanding word, I was shocked to hear Jay say, “Jackie, you are a failure!” No empathy there!
I learned about endurance that day and how failure was my best friend because it was my reminder that I couldn’t, but He could. Rom. 5: 3-5 He is never tired or weary and just waiting for me to surrender it all to him so He could begin to build His strength of character in me.
Endurance is continuing to do what is right, trusting God has got the plan and even though the difficult times overwhelm, they ultimately lead to unexpected opportunities that I would have missed if I had quit. It is the inward strength to withstand stress and continue to trust God for whatever life might bring my way.
Easter was this past Sunday and I am reminded again of the example He set for us in enduring the cross for me. He is not a “quitter” and faced the horrific trek through courts, mocking, chiding, beatings, being spit upon, floggings, hanging hours on a cruel cross with ripping tendons…to complete the will of His Father …and He endured until the end…victorious!
There is no excuse for us…HE set the bar…
Whatever our circumstance, we stick to the task with thanksgiving,
knowing He will do it (if we get out of His way!) and
it has eternal benefit and divine purpose.
It’s a total win…win!
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12: 2-3
~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America. Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California. My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights.
